I love Craigslist.
Treasures lurk in its confines, in its bandwidth. Desperate (and ofttimes illiterate) pleas for money, sex, companionship, artifacts, and lost pets populate it. I check "missed connections" every day. It is probably the most voyeuristic thing I do.
I just read one about a man named Tim. Probably unknowingly, he is the secret desire of his male co-worker.
The man, who did not name himself, set out an elaborate plot to gain Tim's affections.
It involved code words so the office remained in the dark on the situation...
The internet is really not a private venue.
Those who believe so are foolish, myself among them. I have written out pieces of my life to this impersonal blog, seeking what?
There are pieces of my soul I have revealed to no person alive.
Things I probably won't reveal.
But still, I have sacrificed great portions of my personal doings to this blog, when I have many empty notebooks waiting around for me to spill secrets into. Places more fitting for heartbreak and ugly deeds.
So why the public venue?
Why do millions of people expose their most intimate moments as fodder for countless strangers to peer into?
I don't know myself.
Maybe it is a form of purging, of catholic confession, something we humans have been doing for as long as we have been self aware.
Maybe it is a ploy for attentions. Maybe it is the weak person's way of talking to the people they quarrel with, so they need not speak it aloud and to someone's face.
We want to be absolved of our sins, to admit to our worst actions, and still be loved by the ones around us. To be forgiven. To be known in fullness.
Yet, does the full story ever really pass from our lips?
Can we relive every searing detail through the retelling? To say the worst of what we are in front of someone who could judge, ostracize, or be disgusted by us?
Another thing I have yet to accomplish.
The man who posted for Tim...
Did he give in to some obsessive siren call?
The level of secrecy enacted in his advertisement, his plotting, suggests that he is ashamed to own his affection. Instead seeking the anonymous protection of the massive impersonal internet.
Good luck I guess..
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3 comments:
Is this your farewell to blogging blog?
You're absolutely right, you know. The purpose of my blog was to function as a journal but, clearly, I have to censor things for certain viewers and people who might happen upon this blog by chance.
I set it up so you can't find it on search engines, but apparently you can.
And Tim surely does seem to be ashamed of his own affections. Which is rather unfortunate.
Oh, well, I guess. Que será, será.
Not Tim, guy who wants Tim.
I still like blogging, that wasn't goodbye.
I liked reading this. I don't think people write blogs in hopes that they will be forgiven, or self-forgiven whether that result intentional or not, but I do think that this open writting creates relaxation, which is why I love it, but I can't really keep the ball rolling like you seem to be able to.
I went to a really cool seminar yesterday that was all about the philosophy of language and it really was interesting on how different languages and cultures are able to literally have phrases and meaning that are untranslatable to other languages,and that really blows my mind. It's the use of language that blogging allows one to satisfy the hardwired need that we all have to be expressive.
Pretty cool I think
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