Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Freedom


Rae helped me out last night with an impromptu demonic photoshoot.
I had put dark purple shadows under her eyes and colored chapped nude lips on her *and* though she was actually drooling on herself, I snapped this one where she looks quite lovely.
Sort of, trapped inside her own body, sparring with her demons...
Well, today I got home rather early because my class was canceled.
I was going to sit it out and go to Math 107, but I knocked my pop can and Shasta pepsi was soaking into everything. Me, the seat...
And I said,
"It is not my day today. I had better retire."
I returned home and accidentally let Bartholomew out. And accidentally didn't even notice that he had escaped.
It is an unusually sunny day for January (GLOBAL WARMING!) so I can't blame him really.
I discovered that he was gone, and ran outside.
There he was, sniffing my mother's dead African grasses and frolicking quite joyfully.
I didn't want to drag him back into the stuffy little studio, so instead I let Charlie out too, thinking that I could handle two at a time. Thinking that I would just let them have turns.
Bad idea.
Charlie kind of shrunk into himself and hid by the grasses.
Bartholomew was considering escaping the yard and venturing off. I could see it in his sharp yellow eyes.
I tried to capture him and let Firenze have a turn. Instead, all of them ran out and into the bushes.
Poor cats, they really are quite smart, but can any kitten resist the lure of a swashing stick?
Mine couldn't. I rounded them up and locked them safely away.

Then the sad part.
Charlie mewed pitifully at the door. Firenze joined. Bartholomew, normally so silent, also began to squeak sadly.
They pawed desperately at the front door, begging for freedom.
I had to ignore it.
Three unfixed male kittens who don't have their proper vaccinations can't go running off.
I still felt bad.
:[

Sunday, January 3, 2010

I'm getting old...


Happy 2010.
I'm turning twenty this year. That blows my mind apart...Seriously, there are grey matter shrapnel bits all over my comforter.
I suppose in the spirit of this mighty drunken non-holiday I will make a few (late) New Year's resolutions.
1. Lose ten pounds
(yeah, we've been saying that for about six years now...)
2. Finish The Attack of the Chocolate Eaters illustrations.
3. Finish Mediocre.
4. Get my A.A
5. Buy a house
6. Get a job
7. Record "Forgive my Intrusion"
Boring stuff, I know.

Lately I've been modeling quite a bit for random photographers. It's actually pretty depressing stuff.
I feel like my soul is leaking out a little more with each snap of the camera shutter. I found a depressingly over saturated and blurry photo of myself on Craigslist today. What an honor. I made it to freaking Craiglist guys.
The ideas for shoots that are proposed to me are dull and inane. (Not always but often.)
I'm constantly reminded to look "sexy."
I've got news for me, I'm not sexy.
I might be attractive. Or quirky. Or even pretty...
But I am no flirty babe. Not even a little.
To top it all off? I get no monetary compensation for it all. Just awkwardness and mild humiliation.
I will just keep slugging away though. My goal is to use modeling to pay for cool trips. I'll have to have a pretty rock solid portfolio to pull that off. So I will take the drudgery from now on without complaint.
We are making great strides in music world. I've made up more songs, Nick and I can play together in harmony. (HAHA...pun)
School starts tomorrow. Let's hope Nick leaves me a few cigarettes so I can make it through.